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If You Really Knew Me?

Posted by tomleveen at 1:22 am

Anybody else watch MTV’s new reality series “If You Really Knew Me“?  I’ve avoided MTV since they stopped playing videos (back in the mid 1800’s or so), but this show’s premise caught my eye and I gave it a look-see.

It wasn’t bad.  In fact, if it’s even half-truthful and not orchestrated – one must accept this possiblity in the media – it just might make a bit of difference out there.  If so, then I applaud the network for its efforts.

But there was one moment that really gutted me.

This one girl, Barbara, appears to feel like her whole life has changed after this “Challenge Day,” in which there is much baring of souls and weeping of eyes.  Sort of a Breakfast Club on steroids.  As a result of Challenge Day, she decides to tell her dad how much she appreciates him and what he’s done for her and the family.

Sweet, right?

So we are treated to a scene around the family dinner table in which Barbara tearfully expresses to her dad how much he is appreciated and loved.  She attempts to take his hand; he lets it sit, dead, on the table top.  Then Dad, eyes darting across the table in search of something meaningful to say or perhaps for a way out of the conversation, says the following gems (clip begins at 33:50):

“Well…you’re welcome, I guess [...] This Challenge Day, does it change your attitude toward schoolwork at all…?”

As a theatre director since 1990 with 35 plays or so on my resume, let me offer Dad some direction:

When your kid is crying, and tells you she loves you and appreciates you, get the F up and hug her and tell her you love her too.  Is there some kind of super-ultra bold/italics I can use to emphasize this…?

I’m a realist, okay?  Maybe Dad was really caught off guard, and was nervous about an MTV camera crew in his kitchen recording his every move.  Understandable.  And who knows what got left on the editing room floor?  Maybe he did hug her and tell her he loved her (there’s a two-second glimpse of a side-arm hug/hair kiss near the end of the episode), and the MTV folks just didn’t put it in the final cut.  I mean, he was sort of ambushed in a sense.  I’ll give him that.

…and now I’m done.

Lookit, I don’t know nothin’ from nothin’ about this kid.  Maybe she’s a total rag and a pain to live with.  (I know I was.)  Maybe she’s flunking every class, maybe she’s high as a kite.  Who knows.  There’s only so much the camera can show us in an hour-long show.

I. Don’t. Care.

That’s your kid.  She’s reaching out for you, and you go limp.  I don’t care what “kind” of kid she’s been up to this point.  You are her parent.  Man up and act like it.  There is never, ever, a reason to not hug your kid or not tell them you love them.  Ever.  Yes, grades are important — even crucial.  Yes, you have feelings too.  Yes, your kid is gonna hurt you sometimes.  I get it.

But listen, Barbara’s-Dad-Who-Will-Likely-Never-See-This-Post, I’m not trying to judge you here.  …Okay, I am, and I apologize for that.  I don’t know the whole story, so it’s unfair for me to castigate you like this.  But this is less about you and more about me and any ‘rents out there: 

Hug your kid!

I mean, is it so hard?  Hug ‘em, and don’t ever stop.  Not at 5, not at 15, or 25, or 55, or whenever.  I see over and over again parents who are trying to be best friends with their kid or not trying to be anything at all, and I’ve had it.  Do not think for one single solitary moment that your kid doesn’t want and need you to make physical contact and to hear that you are proud, you love them with no strings, that they matter.

I’m sure it’s hard sometimes.  So what?  No one said being a parent was easy, last I checked.

And as for all us Barbaras out there, if Dad won’t cooperate, go hug him anyway.  Don’t give up.  Maybe one day he’ll get the message.

And if he doesn’t…I am so sorry.  And don’t worry.  There are a lot of people out there who love you, and will be happy to show and tell you that.  They are the ones who refuse to hurt you, who listen, who can be quiet or make suggestions depending on your need.  (I’ve heard it said that best friends are God’s way of apologizing for your family.  Icecold!)

By the way, Moms and Dads…if you don’t pony up, someone else will.  And you won’t have any say in who — or in how they express it.  If you catch my drift.  A kid who needs attention will find a way to get it, I assure you.

How’s that sit with ya?

(Roll credits.  Fade to Black.)

Looking back, looking ahead

Posted by tomleveen at 4:05 pm

So the Glendale B&N was sweet.  I got to touch base with old friends and new babies (who were very helpful during the event).  The B&N was beautiful (see photo), and I was thrilled to hang out with some awesome people whom I love a lot.  Thanks to all of you who made it out!

I’ve got some other local (AZ) appearances coming up: Monday night at 630 at Changing Hands teaching a seminar on publishing a YA novel, and a PARTY book discussion on July 18 at 1 pm, also at Changing Hands.  Both events are free, but the seminar requires registration.  I have plans to also be in Las Cruces and Silver City NM in August.  I really should get busy on visiting some other states (I’ve had requests for Florida and NY so far), except for this whole “flying” thing.  Not my cup o’ travel.  That may be changing soon whether I like it or not…

In looking ahead, I have superawesome news that I can’t wait to share, but have to hold back a little longer.  Hopefully, that’ll get worked out by next week.  Meanwhile, I’m dabbling with, at last count:

• a YA science fiction;
• a YA supernatural;
• a MG adventure;
• and a YA contemporary. 

This does not include the MG contemporary which is out for revisions right now.  Which of these, if any, will stick to the wall, I don’t know.  But then, that’s part of the fun.  Which of these sounds most promising?  Drop me an email or message me on FB.

Also, I start summer school on Tuesday.  That should actually be very cool.

Our Huntington Beach vacation was pretty sweet–I even got my bad self into the wild and wasteful ocean.

Hope and I discuss the ramifications of globalization on ... actually, I think we're just talking about lunch.

So it’s been a pretty laid back yet productive summer so far, and it’s only July. 

Have a good summer, stay safe, and we’ll compare notes later.

See ya!

Skating Phantom

Posted by tomleveen at 10:50 am

We went downhilling last night, which, for the uninitiated, amounts to laying on a skateboard and rolling down a paved hill really fast.  I reckon other skaters have other names for it – luge, perhaps, if I spelled that right, or longboarding maybe.  We have always called it downhilling.

(WARNING! Graphic image ahead…)

And now that we are Old and Infirm, we confine our downhilling to this hill on the south side of Camelback Mountain.  All our hills get named.  They get christened after the first person to have a major bail (or whatever the cool kids call it these days).  I, for instance, have a hill on the north side of Camelback named after me: Get-A-Grip.   That’s where I got the rock in my finger.  My all time favorite hill name is Faceplant.  Because that one is true to its name.  Happily, Bishop is still alive and well despite that inauspicious hill name.  Phantom Hill got its name because to date, no one ever really crashed on it.  Crashed bad enough to draw blood, anyway.  That’s one of the requirements I think.

Lately we go whenever A) someone is getting married, or B) we’ve got friends from out of town here to visit (see “A”).  This time around, though, we went strictly for Reason B.  And one of the reasons he was here was to see me at a book signing.  Nor was he the first or only to fly across country in support of PARTY and me.  You can’t fake that s***.  You ask me what motivates me, what my inspiration is, I tell you it’s the guys I’ve known for anywhere from 13 to 23 years now.  (It’s also my wife and their wives, because somehow, our ladies didn’t get the memo that we were a bunch of dumb hoods.  Or maybe they did, and that’s why we love them so much.)

Apart from whistling down a mountain road at 40 mph with your skull about three inches from the blacktop, the best part of downhilling is the chill out time before the next run, sitting on our boards at the top of the hill, seeing the city spread out before us.  We talk about all sorts of stuff in those moments; we argue about who said what to who 20 years ago, that sort of thing.  Even after all these years, there’s something about sitting in the dark, sipping Super Big Gulps, and staring down that dark, curved road ahead wondering if tonight’s the night Phantom gets re-named in your honor. 

“I have good friends there,” our visiting brother says.  He pauses.  “But I wouldn’t sit on a skateboard at the top of a hill with any of them.”

“I never had this in high school,” says our youngest.

“Thirteen years,” another tells him.  “Know how many people we hung out with for that long after we graduated?  Uh, you.”

It was a good night (despite the Large McBigHuge OUCH I got, which I wish I could say happened doing something cool.  Alas, it was stupidity.  But it was worth it).  We’ll go again in November  just before the next man walks down the aisle.  We’ll all be there for that, too.  We got it good, to put it simply.  We made it. 

There’ve been casualties.  Fallouts. Catastrophes and tragedies.  Sure there were.  You know how it goes.

But we still climb that hill with our boards and skate that sucker every so often.  Till one of us breaks a hip or something, anyway.  (And in fairness…we do get driven to the top now by our understanding wives…)

So, I need to get going and clean the living room up a bit for our gathering tonight.  It’ll be a blast.  It always is.  For your viewing pleasure, here’s a look at the only injury of note last night.  It hurts worse than it looks.  Or maybe the other way around.  You be the judge.

See ya!

The *one* time I remove my gloves, this is what happens. Idiot.

Get your Geek on

Posted by tomleveen at 11:07 am

Joy & I met James Marsters - also a masterful storyteller, and wicked cool.

Ya gotta love the geeks, freaks, nerds, and dweebs.  You just  gotta.  Because if you don’t, they’ll mow you down with their oversized wooden replica swords from Final Fantasy MXXXVVVIII or whatever.  This is my assessment after two days at a comic book convention.  These are My People.  These are from whence I came.  I’ve actually grown rather fond of football season, thanks to my wife, but given a choice, I’ll take a good comic book or any other fantastic tale any old day of the week.  (And now so too does my wife.  So we’re even.)

So, I’m more or less a bona fide Joss Whedon disciple, principally because the man can tell a great story.  He also has an eye for exceptional talent – male and female – and he gives them outstanding stories to work with as actors.  I got caught up into Buffy somewhere around season four originally, but what sold me was (SPOILER!…like it’s a secret anymore) when Angelus killed Jenny Calendar in season two.  Still a little shaken by that.  (And not just the murder, but the method and the motive.)  It was a brilliant, risky move.  I wish I took more of them in my own writing. 

Anyway — Joy and I had the pleasure of meeting Georges Jeanty at the Phoenix Comicon, and first off, we were just thrilled to meet an artist of his caliber who so well continues the Buffy arc through the Season 8 comics.  We’ve had a poster of his on our living room wall for years.  He’s just awesome.  (So is Jo Chen, who paints most if not all the variant covers; she is wicked incredible.) 

What made us appreciate Georges even more, though, was his emphasis on storytelling.  He gets it.  Big summer blockbusters with Whatshisname and Whatshername, those hottest young stars…they’re fine, they’re entertaining, I don’t begrudge them that.  But to be entertaining and spin a riviting story that sincerely examines our collective human conditions, that’s a whole other thing.  While Georges isn’t the writer of Season 8, it’s his job to make the words come alive.  It’s art, it’s entertainment, and above all, it’s story.

Like so many modern immortal characters — Kirk, Wolverine, Jules, Batman, to name a few personal favorites — those characters in the Buffy universe are, before anything else, human.  Prone to errors in judgement, to mistakes, to making the hard call when the hard call is what’s needed to win the day.  But they’re also heroes, of a sort.  I realize naming Pulp Fiction’s Jules as a hero might be a stretch, but I think part of what goes into making a hero is that sense of trying to right past wrongs, to strive for redemption.  A good storyteller can take these fallible humans and show us that anything is possible; and not just show us, but make us really believe it.

It’s fiction.  It’s make-believe.  We pay storytellers to lie to us.  And we love it!

I don’t dress up like my favorite characters, I don’t cosplay (whatever that is).  And while I laughed as hard as anyone at Shatner’s notorious “Get a life!” bit on SNL, the reality is these fictions reach us on a very important level.  You want to dress up like an anime character and sing an a’capella version of the Superman theme at full volume (and a spot-on version, I noted, because I’m a geek), be my guest.  Because for as silly as it might look to those championship atheletes* who happend to be walking by at the time (which was hysterical to me), these freaks, dorks, and assorted spazzes — exactly the kids I would’ve hung out with in high school, and in many ways, still do — are on to something.  What some see as ridiculous, I see as high praise.  As the most heartfelt “Thank you” I can imagine anyone bestowing.

They’re saying thank you for getting it right.  For understanding.  I’d consider myself lucky to have that kind of impact someday.

Good storytelling mirrors us.  It’s what people like Jeanty, Whedon, Roddenberry, Stan Lee, and Bob Kane (to name a few) understood best:  We’re all heroes, if we dare to be.

So thank you, Comicon, for reminding me that it’s okay to “be a kid,” to act a little nuts sometimes, and to dream.  That’s a gift.

(* and if a person spends time and money playing fantasy football/baseball/whateverball, while dressing up in his or her favorite team’s costume, then that makes them…?  Well, let’s just say they’re storytellers, too.)

Your Gift Matters

Posted by tomleveen at 11:58 pm

Here’s what:

Don’t ever — ever — let anyone tell you that you can’t accomplish something.

We shut down Chyro Arts Venue tonight.  And that sucks.  In many different ways.  But, to coin a phrase, it is what it is.  The point is…we did it.

We started Chyro because we wanted to create a place where all the arts had a home.  We were more or less successful on that front.  What evolved, though, was a place where young bands, in particular, had a place to go and where new and seasoned actors alike could tread the boards in a show or two.  I did some of my best work as a director at Chyro.  I saw some of the best bands there.  We made friends that will still be close.  We earned support from hundreds of people who saw and believed in our vision for our little corner of south Scottsdale.

The odds were against us.  We didn’t know what we were doing.  We had no real knowledge of what it was going to take.  It never should’ve gotten off the ground.

But it did.

Sometimes, it was a act of sheer will to get those doors open.  Sometimes, it took an infusion of cash no one really had.  But we didn’t give up on it.  We stayed friends throughout.  And I like to think we changed the world. Maybe just a little, maybe just for awhile, but changed it all the same.

If we can do it, so can you.

Whatever it is you’re passionate about, whatever it is you love, whatever it is you’ve got to offer the world, go get it.  A little risk can be a good thing.  It doesn’t have to be a business (or a non-profit).  It’s whatever makes your heart race, whatever makes you smile.  It can be gardening, knitting, walking the dog, playing with your kids, reading, writing, artithmetic…the list goes on forever and ends only when you say it does. 

And I don’t care how old or how young you are, either.  Set a goal, and go get that sucker.  Because no one is going to do it for you.

Finally…do it, and then give it to someone else.  Share it.  I dunno how, but share it.  Achieving something isn’t nearly as much fun by yourself.  Trust me.  It takes a lot of people to finish writing a book, for example.  Or open a non-profit mixed-use arts venue in a strip mall.

Your gift matters.  Share it.

And as for Chyro Arts Venue….thanks, you old gal.  You did a great job.  We owe you.

~ Tom

Book trailer

Posted by tomleveen at 11:01 pm

It appears the PARTY book trailer, put together by Random House, is live.  I’m not sure if it’s the final FINAL version or not, so check it out while you can!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcFpQgt_5v4

This is also the video that plays when you click the book cover on my home page.

Suh-weet!

Summer Reading is here

Posted by tomleveen at 6:13 pm

So classes officially end Monday night for me.  YES!  In your FACE, college! I’m looking forward to taking a YA lit class later this summer from Jim Blasingame, who I’ve meet once and I gotta say, can’t wait for his class.

Meanwhile the library and local bookstores continues to offer a plethora of fine reading material this summer.  My list currently includes:

The Engines of Dawn, by Paul Cook (my sf/fantasy professor)

Decision at Thunder Rift, by William Keith Jr. (because I miss playing Battletech)

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, by Mary Ann Shaffer & Annie Barrows (because Michelle lent it to me)

Evolution, Me & Other Freaks of Nature, by Robin Brande (sweet)

Thief Eyes, by Janni Lee Simner (sweet)

Spells, by Aprilynne Pike (sweet)

My Fair Godmother, by Janette Rallison (sweet)

And hopefully two or three manuscripts for revision.  Salvador Dali, punk rock, zombies, high school, middle schools, total freakshows…aw yeah!

What’s on your shelf this summer?

~ Tom

AZ is dead. Long live AZ!

Posted by tomleveen at 12:30 am

There’s an even chance you’ve heard about some of the goings-on in my dear old home state of Arizona. As per usual, the only time we ever make national news it’s because of something cataclysmically stupid.  Well, “we” are at it again.  You know it’s bad if your entire state winds up on The Daily Show.

There’ve been calls by folks of many types to “boycott Arizona.”  Please don’t do this. Please don’t support this.  Think about it.

I don’t have the exact figures, but I can count on one hand the people I know who are in support of our legislature’s latest gambit for the Darwin Awards.  The vast majority of Arizonans I’ve heard or read are wildly opposed to the things our legislature is doing, has done, and continues to try to do.  Maybe I’m wrong, maybe most Arizonans are in favor of this whole immigration thing (and in fairness, it’s not like I’ve read the bill myself), but I haven’t personally heard many people say so.  For cryin’ out loud, the entire Suns basketball team had Los Suns jerseys on.

I don’t want to talk politics here; I rarely do, because I rarely know whereof I speak on this front.  (Neither do most people, but that’s my opinion.)  What I do want to talk about is that we’re in enough trouble as it is without having Famous Stars and armchair politicians calling for a boycott of the entire state.  Arizona has a massive tourist economy (though not necessarily in the summer, in fairness), among other industries like farming and manufacturing.  To take your business elsewhere in protest of something a handful of people pushed through without bothering to ask our opinion on the matter isn’t fair to the people who are working hard to put food on the table just like everyone else.

If you want to effect change – and I hope you do, whatever your political affiliation; make your voice heard, whether I agree with you or not, I say – then by all means, flood the Arizona legislature with emails, letters, and phone calls.  Participate.  Have your say.  Blog.  Tweet.  Whatever.

(Say Words.)

But don’t punish the joes and janes who are trying to make a living.   This wasn’t our call.  And it’s not like anyone voted our current governor into office.

Just something to think about.  I love Arizona, always have, always will.  But man…we end up on the news for the damndest stuff.  As my hero Mike Ness said, if you want to make change, then you gotta get off your ass and do something.  Withholding business from people who happen to live here isn’t how to do it.  Voting is.  Protesting, writing, organizing…all good things.  Do them.

But please also check the size of the brush being used to paint six and half million of us the same color of Stupid. 

(Speaking of our legislature’s, um, fiscal shortcomings, please consider taking two minutes to sign up at http://www.refresheverything.com/search/?q=MCAP and voting every day for a program called MCAP, which helps underserved teen mothers complete their high school equivalency and thus goes a long a way toward reducing and ultimately ending cycles of poverty.  Two. Minutes.  This is my wife Joy’s program, and no kidding, this program WORKS and it ROCKS.  Thanks!)

Post-event wrapup…& coming up!

Posted by tomleveen at 2:15 pm

Wow.  That’s pretty much the only word for my first release signing event. Just…wow.

First things first: FAIL on my part to shout out Aprilynne Pike and Janette Rallison, two local authors who not only write tremendous books, but are galactic sweethearts and mentors. Both have books recently released or coming VERY soon, and I can’t recommend them enough. (Janette’s Just One Wish is my personal favorite of her many novels, and Aprilynne’s Wings was tremendous.) Thank you for being there!!

The whole night was way much fun, and entirely humbling.  I hear we sold out Changing Hands’ copies of Party, and had around 100 attendees.  Not bad!  I was also able to plug the Class of 2K10, a group of other debut authors this year, and having a support & PR group like that around has been a big help. Thanks, ya’ll!

There are already pictures floating around Facebook and Twitter, very awesome, and more to come. I hope to post some video clips of the night soon.

Truly and completely an incredible night, and I hope it’s a harbinger of what’s to come.  Hey! Speaking of which…if you missed me at Changing Hands, then please head out to one of these events coming up; I’ll be there signing books and answering questions etc.:

ComicZone (free comic book day!), May 1, 1 pm – 4 pm.

B&N Desert Ridge, May 13, 7 pm

Remember: Say Words!   And if you have questions or comments on the event, email me at tom/at/tomleveen /dot/ com. 

(PS: To see comments on the blogs, you need to click the blog title. Just discovered this. Sorry!)

“I hugged my mom.”

Posted by tomleveen at 11:53 pm

Quick story:

Recently, one of the students in my writing class said that after reading the short story I’d submitted for critique, she gave her mom a hug and told her she loved her.  (The story was about a teenage girl who was trying to work up the courage to talk to her mother about a pretty serious topic in the girl’s life.)

That’s why I do it.  That’s why I write.  I do it because I hope it matters to someone.

If something I’ve written gives you a break from real life, from homework headaches or taxes or your sick grandma or a job loss or whatever…then I figure I’ve done my job.  If something I’ve written motivates you to tell someone you love them, then I figure I’ve done my job.  Man, I love being an author – all the ups and downs and stress and joy.  LOVE it.  It’s what I always wanted to do, going back to middle school.  But what really gets me going is this idea that something I’ve invested so much time and energy into can have a seriously cool impact on someone’s life.

So, yeah.  That’s why I do it. 

Take care, and we’ll see you on (details forthcoming on these Party signing events):

April 27 at Changing Hands

May 1 at ComicZone (Free comic book day!)

May 13 at Barnes & Noble, Phoenix

June 17 at Barnes & Noble, Glendale, CA

Now go hug your mom.